Suomenlinna Fortress, Helsinki.

Finland trip Summer ’10

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Too, and very much.

She said: I miss you.

He said: I love you.

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Hope floats.

Picture by TweetyCow

It was when I asked you: “Do you think it’s always gonna be like this?”

And your answer made my heart swell with happiness.

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And then there will not even be a need for words. Baby you leave me unraveled. Here I am, split open like a downpour, spilling over like a volcano. Shhh, you’ll tell me. Shhh, I’ll lay silent. And I’m done telling you all the feelings that cannot be described. And you’re done being so far, for so long. And in the quiet we’ll say more than these years have made us hold.

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1:57am fueled by coffee and feeling like this.

Well here we are just another night to sleep through apart Under skies away where I know you’re nursing a toothache, well There is tugging as I pull on the edges of this blanket in search of comfort On the dreams that make rope bridges between your morning and my nighttime On my heartstrings, go on think me a dreamer Me waxing lyrical like that, when medical anatomy taught me that hearts are made out of muscle Blood running through valves colouring gossamer threads of tangled scarlet Pumping like a song with a steady beat Cells and neurons in sync with the breaths I inhale with the words I exhale But baby, hush baby if you only just knew So many things in there just for you A million sparks you ignite, intangible unexplainable things Things that I save up all day to tell you in the minutes we steal when we can And then lose completely in a single untethered paper boat that Floats away with the mention of my name when you say it When you say it.

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I wish for so many things in my dreams when I am asleep in my head when I am not, still it simply comes down to you being with me and they’re just the ways that I try to pass these remaining days with, an attempt to fill the you-shaped hole in the humdrum daily routine of waiting. This is all I’ve known how to do for so long. And perhaps before we had years to overcome but it’s almost the end now. And I will never miss you more than this, than when I know how close enough you are to being real.

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It’s another day, and I
pass through these like
a dandelion blown. I’m
strewn all over. I’m
searching for a place to
land. I’m looking for
you. I’m dancing in the
wind, well the wind she’s
a twirling tornado.

You watch me float endlessly.

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